November 04, 2009

Well, I knew it would come at some point... A Soapbox and the answer to life in the Universe, -42-

The line in the sand has been drawn longer after the narrow margin (52% to 48%) passage of prop 1 in the State of Maine yesterday.
Is my blog only a place where I post cute and fun pictures of our home, and write amusing anecdotes about the people that surround our endeavor,  or should I occasionally pull out my soap box and make a stand? As much as my house is part of who I am, it is only one facet, and I will take a brief moment and step aside from the magic of 227 North Street.

In the "guess what folks" department

Phillip and I are legally married like every other married couple in this state, and I love my husband more than anything in life. We were married after the Supreme Court of the State of California overturned the ban on gay marriage  in May 2008, and the passing of proposition 8 one year ago. However our legal union (Marriage) stops at the border, and is not recognized by almost every state in the union or the federal government, and although we now enjoy some of the benefits provided to married couples, there are many we are denied.

The line has been been drawn in the sand by those of the "Religious" faith, and those that are not. By those who are conservative and status quo, and those who are forward thinking and live and let live. Marriage, historically is not a religious based joining, but a union of necessity, a joining of two clans to produce more grain, and children to harvest it. Somehow along the path, marriage became a "God" based joining of two souls.... a male soul and a female soul... why is that? where does that come from? based upon who's translation and interpretation of the bible? Is the Bible the ultimate answer to life in the universe?

I proposed the question on Facebook not too long ago... A country divided down the center, completely in half, how can it survive. And again I am thinking of that question, and am throwing it out to my readers. Please respond, comment, tell me what you think! But I will ask one huge favor... before you come to quick or gut inspired conclusions... go out there on the net, research, study, and learn with an open mind. Take a look at the lies and horror the proponents of Prop 1, and prop 8 have unleashed upon the world.

And now for the  très amusant part... I read a response to a newspaper article announcing the triumphant win of those in support of Prop 1 in the State of Maine, the writer claimed that this was the will of the voters, well at least the umpteen multitude of 80+ voters who wonder what ever happened to George W. and the glory days... ooops, that was meant to be inside voice, can I really write that on my blog? The writer also claimed that it was the will of "God" and the gays should leave the state because they were not wanted there.... OM(which ever god you choose to insert) can you imagine? How would anyone get beautiful flower arrangements, or dress designs, or amazing graphics and art? What about interiors, fabrics, shoes, purses, belts or jewelery? Architecture, sculpture, ar landscapes? yes some "Normal" folk do these things just fine... but think about it.... no gays? What is the world coming too?

PS.. No offense is meant to anyone of my readers of a religious faith. Religion is a personal choice and I respect and accept your choices in life. Remember my mantra, "Acceptance not Tolerance"


  1. Mark,

    I think you should "soapbox" all you want. Those idiots need to hear your voice. Marriage is a civil contract and has nothing to do with religion. Please continue to speak out. I'm glad you guys are a visible part of our community! Keep on keeping on.

  2. Here in Washington state something was passed yesterday which will allow alternative couples to have all the benefits of being married, without being officially stated as being married. It's a step.

  3. Mark;

    I am a Christian. I believe in God. I love God. However, I am also a Democrat. I believe in a womans right to choose, and that we should save the planet, provide healthcare for all our citizens and reform our immigration policy because it is racist and hateful. And, I think that the people in this country, (and a few others), who are using the "faith" to spout the supposed "will of God" are a bunch of fanatical fruit loops. They frustrate the hell out of me.

    It looks like Washington state has passed R71, and I'm glad! I think everyone should have equal rights under the law including glbt and domestic partners.

    I just wanted you to know that not all people of faith are bigots - or republican.


  4. Mark,
    I don't understand why any loving, committed relationship should be questioned by anyone. It is unfortunate that so many people are blind and afraid. For my part, I have raised my children to have open minds and hearts. I can only hope that those who are closed minded will someday have a change of heart and realize that love is the key. My best to you and Phillip.

  5. Thanks for the post, Mark. Despite the deeply sad passage of prop 8 last year, I hope you will find most of your neighbors in Sonoma County to be fully accepting, not just tolerant (I'm going to remember that line). We all must keep the faith so to speak and believe that sometime in the not too distant future, even the thought of discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is ludicrous.

  6. I wrote this on my Facebook page the day after the Maine elections: "Tom Kearney is today a very sad human person who still must explain to more than 50% of his fellow human persons why he is who he is and why he finds it incredible that he can only dream about what they take for granted. But thanks to all those around him who offer their support in the quest for fairness, equality, justice, and full inclusion in the glory of life, while so many others feel the need to squash those efforts." So, Mark and Phillip, thanks for coming to Healdsburg and living as two shining examples to our "fellow human persons" of just who you (we) are. Onward and upward!

  7. First let me say there is nothing wrong with being gay however you are living an alternative life style and as such you do not have the right to demand the same status as a relationship that has the ability to procreate. I have a major problem with the argument that marriage is not a religious activity you are wrong. Marriage is a religious event that is why there is a preacher there not a bureaucrat. However civil unions are not a religious activity and you should have every opportunity to engage in one. I am also afraid that your "mantra" is one scary statement. I have not meant to many people who can accept and not tolerate. Maybe you should think of switching you wishes or understand that not all people approve of what you are doing and live with it. Just my 2 cents.

    A REAL local

    1. Seven years after this post was made...

      I just found Mark's blog because I'm obsessed with restoring old houses, and am reading it from the beginning. Found this comment, couldn't let well enough alone even though it's seven years in the past and last year the SCOTUS ruled that no state can outlaw same-sex marriage.

      Still, this thought persists that only couples that "can procreate" should be granted legal marriage with all the protections and important rights that contract and recognition confers. Inheritance, access to your partner when they're in the hospital, etc.

      Whenever somebody raises this specter of "marriages that can produce children," their argument quickly falls apart if you confront it openly. What about MY marriage? I'm a woman married to a man, but we have no desire to have children. Should we be excluded from legal marriage and its rights, along with same-sex couples if the bigots get their way and somehow the 2015 ruling is attacked and reversed or even regressed? How about infertile heterosexual couples who want to have kids, but can't? What about opposite-sex couples who are marrying past childbearing age?

      Whenever you bring those couples up, the people who spout the "marriage is about children, and two gay men can't have a baby, therefore no marriage for you" line always stammer into "but... but... but..." and their silly argument falls apart. Sometimes it takes a person like me, hetero and married and decidedly NOT interested in ruining her life with children, to point out how ridiculous that argument was and is. And it still infuriates me, seven years later.

      All that is to say nothing of the fact that I know lots of gay couples who have kids. Including men. It's not as if a same-sex marriage can't be a union that raises children.

      I wish people who made (and still make!) this argument would at least be honest. It's not "won't somebody think of the children." Their real reason for holding the beliefs they hold is "Ew, gay people."

      In the 21st century, there is no more room for "Ew" about any person. We're better than that, collectively, as a society. Please try to get with the program and move ahead, people.

  8. Facinating, that even here, there are folks with blinders on hiding behind antiquated thought processes and afraid to take that step and break out into the light. Well, you are entitled to your 2 cents worth and I accept it. But I will ask that if REAL local is serious about their two cents, man up and let us all know who you are. Dont "hide" behind "anonymous".
    PS... some would say that having and raising children is an alternative life style.

  9. Marriage is a legal right that the state should give to everyone. Period. Religion and morality is a personal choice and has no place in legal issues. Cool house by the way.....


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